Lucy in the Sky

So I am sitting in the Kansas City International Airport, waiting on the cattery lady (hehe) to get here with our little Lucy!  It is currently 3:50pm, I have been here since about 1:30, and she's supposed to meet me here at 5pm.  My flight doesn't leave til 6:40, and then I have to hop over to St. Louis (and change planes in 30 minutes - yikes!)... a completely lame and ridiculous flight plan, but worth it I suppose!  It was a free flight (yay Southwest credit card miles!), so I guess it's what I should expect!

Anyhow (hehe, I love how that sounds - I really say "anyway," but my dear friend Kate always says "anyhow" and I find it so amusing I might just switch), I'm sitting here in the airport... going back and forth between reading, playing around on Facebook, people-watching (nothing too exciting yet, I give the people-watching a C- today), obsessively checking my email for photo comments/wall post replies/messages/my husband to chat with me on gtalk (the last activity being pretty hopeless... I think he's very busy today). 



So I'm (finally) reading Eat, Pray, Love.  I'm not as enthralled as I thought I would be (based on the rave reviews it's gotten over the past... few years?  is it that old?), but it's a pretty good read.  I don't like her writing style sometimes... seems contrived, and then other times it's perfect and so real, like - "I know exactly what she means!"  Right now she's in India, on a search for devotion.  I feel like I am always on a search for devotion, but I never really get anywhere... probably because I make the plans, I book the flight, I research exciting excursions, and then I just sit on my butt and watch my shows and play around aimlessly online while the trip seemingly passes me up.  I guess I should probably realize that it doesn't require that much pre-planning and hype, and that it's not a train you've got to hop on or you've been left behind.  I think I feel left behind a lot and I just sit back and wistfully watch the train leave.  Something she wrote really resonated with me, because it seems to very much describe me, so I'd like to share.

...Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well -- that would be the end of the universe...  "but try dropping it... why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential?  Why don't you just let it be?"  I hear this argument and it appeals to me.  I believe in it, intellectually.  I really do.  But then I wonder -- with all my restless yearning, with all my hyped-up fervor... what should I do with my energy instead?  ...Look for God, suggests my Guru.  Look for God like a man with his head on fire for water."

I don't know that I really want to expound on how this makes me feel right now on such a semi-public blog, but it makes me feel something.  We'll leave it at that for now.  Well, that and I'm sure my husband would LOVE to know that I do in fact realize that I am a control freak.  :)

On a lighter note, we just got back from Hawaii on Sunday afternoon (by the way, I'm pretty sick of airports, layovers, and bumpy/nerve-wracking plane rides at this point!), and it was (Kate's favorite word - wow, Kate, do you feel special in this post or what?!) FANTASTIC!  Being in such a beautiful place, surrounded by such wonderful people was an incredible way to spend my first week off!  I'll post later (maybe...) with pictures and a brief synopsis of our awesome vacation!  The wedding was off the charts and Andrea was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen - okay yes, I will definitely have a post dedicated to Hawaii, just now right this minute.

Okay, well I've managed to make it to 4:13... making good progress, it's almost time!  I think I'll go call my mom now.  It's been too long, I miss her, and she just texted me the same thing .  If only Dallas and Tahlequah and Dimmitt were magically all in once place and we still got to live in our new condo. 

Much overdue update!

Okay, so it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted... I have just been so busy with the condo and with school; it's just been crazy! I guess I feel like I haven't updated in so long, it's been stressing me out to try to make up for all this lost time!

One thing at a time I guess...

So we paid to have the popcorn ceiling removed, which was a great decision - we had thought about trying to do it ourselves... that was a crazy moment, glad we came to our senses!  Then we painted the ceiling and most of the downstairs, just have a few little details to finish up, but it looks absolutely beautiful!!  The color was exactly what I was wanting (Tim did a good job of making the color in my head a reality!), and I could not be happier with it.  We just ordered the wood floor today and have plans to install it this weekend - I CANNOT WAIT!!!  My dad is going to come down to teach the boys some lessons in wood floor installation, so they are super pumped to learn a new skill - I am super pumped to watch, deliver beer and pizza... and maybe go shopping with my mom.  :)  hehe.

So it's really hard to tell in this picture, but the wall color is a really soft gray/green - it almost goes neutral.  It's less yellow/green like it looks in the picture.  The French doors will be painted this week, and then they will look fantastic... can't wait to see how they turn out!

The wood floors are going to be a natural maple color, which will reflect so much light and be so bright and airy - I'm so EXCITED!!!

And then Uncle Sam is going to buy us a pretty rug (haven't picked that out yet), a couch, and possibly a flat screen TV (finally!!).  Thank you first time homebuyers' credit!  I'm really digging this type of set up:

Sooooo ya - that's the latest on the condo news!  We'll be doing more things here and there after we get the floor in, and then we'll probably start moving mid to late June - we have our apartment til mid July, so there's no rush... except that we can't wait to live there!! 

As for kitty news: her name is for sure LUCY!  The lady we are getting her from sends us pictures every week or two to let us see how she's growing - she is SO cute and perfect and I cannot WAIT (yes, yet another thing I "cannot wait" for) to get her!  I think I'm going to fly up to Kansas City to get her after we get back from Hawaii (I won't even say how I feel about that... I'm sure you can guess!).  So here she is as of this week:

Precious!!!  I Love Lucy!  hehe

Annnnnnd the last few things that are exciting... we have just a few weeks of school left!!  I can't wait for a little break so I can get the condo spiffed up and start gathering ideas to make next year even better.  AND!!  We leave for Hawaii on June 7th (right after we are FINALLY out of school), yes - you guessed it... I CAN'T WAIT!!!   AAAGGHHH!!!  So many fun things happening right now!!!

Okay, and because I can't stand to type "I can't wait" or "I'm so excited" or just "!!!!" anymore, I'm going to go do what I sat down to do in the first place - grade papers.  :(  The bane of my existence.  I love teaching, I love my kiddos, I love where I work and who I work with... I HATE, HATE, HAAAATE grading papers!!!  Oh well, I really can't complain right now - life is good.  :)

Ciao!  I'll try not to wait 2 months to update again... Andrea, you are only off the hook because you are planning a wedding!  I miss your posts!  :)

Lucy in the Sky with Eleanor's Penny...

We are finally getting our kitty!!!  I could not be more excited - and the fact that Tim is just as excited about her (yes, it's a "her") makes it even better.  The "cattery" we are getting her from (I hate that word... but it is what it is!) is in Missouri, so it's looking like I'll be flying out to get her... probably sometime in June.  I know that seems like a long ways away, but they like to keep the kittens for 12-13 weeks until they're really ready to leave their mother.  They say that it makes for a more well-adjusted cat - one that isn't timid or shy and who can handle disruptions in life better.  Sounds good to me!

Right now we're trying to decide what to name her.  Initially we'd wanted to name her Sophia and call her Sophie... but my brother ended up naming his dog Sophie, and then we subsequently realized that we know THREE Sophies at church and decided it wouldn't seem appropriate to then name our cat the same name.  Not sure why, but it seemed weird!  So!  We are deciding between three names, and they are very decidedly "Jenny" names, because they are all from Beatles songs!  So the polls are now open, drum roll please....

Eleanor (Ellie)

Lucy

Penny

We really can't decide... mine are between Ellie and Lucy.  Tim is torn between Lucy and Penny.  What to do?!  Hopefully with more pictures of her we will figure out what her name shall be.  And on that note, I leave you with two pictures that were taken this morning of our dear, sweet, little Eleanor Lucy Penny... she is absolutely precious, and I cannot WAIT to meet her!!!

EPIC Weekend!!

So this weekend has been truly epic, and a blog post is much needed!

First of all, we FINALLY closed on our condo!!!!!!!  I am so excited that it finally happened - I was really starting to get discouraged.  We signed the papers on Thursday, and it was official on Friday.  We're actually getting an air mattress and are sleeping there tonight after church (more to come on that in a moment!).  I can't wait to start painting and putting in a wood floor - it is going to be SO awesome!!!  AAHHHHH!!!!

The next epic thing - Tim and I were received into the Church this morning!!  The Chrismation wasn't nearly as terrifying as I thought it might be - in fact, I had to do relatively little... it was actually very cool and not scary at all.  Whew!  (I have issues with new and/or uncomfortable things, so this has been stressing me out for awhile, even though I really wanted to do it)  We were also the first ones (actually, I was the very first!) to take Communion at Divine Liturgy this morning - so that was really neat too!  And our friend Adam came all the way from Fort Worth (at 8am!) just to be there for it - how awesome is that?! 

So now we're at home resting up for the big night tonight - Pascha (Easter) starting at 11:30pm til 2 or 3 in the morning, and then a huge FEAST!!!  We went last year, but I didn't fast for Lent, so it was just really an elaborately beautiful midnight Easter service to me.  This year however, I followed the fast pretty well - not completely, but way more than I thought I'd be able to.  It's basically no meat & cheese (well, any dairy for that matter).  I still had wine and oil occasionally, though I don't think you're really supposed to.  Going that long without meat (and for the most part, dairy) was trying enough for me!!  SO - this year, I appreciate why everyone is soooo excited to party down after Pascha - and let me tell you, it's a party!  You better believe I've already got my corkscrew ready!  

I got this from the Orthodox Wiki, and it's a really great explanation of what's going on at the service tonight:

Paschal matins begins with a procession that starts around midnight. The people leave the dark church building singing, carrying banners, icons, candles, and the Gospel. The procession circles the outside of the church and returns to the closed front doors.  Next, the Paschal troparion is sung for the first time, together with the verses of Psalm 67 (68) which will begin all of the Church services during the Paschal season.

Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered; let those who hate him flee from before his face!

As smoke vanishes, so let them vanish; as wax melts before the fire,

So the sinners will perish before the face of God; but let the righteous be glad.

This is the day which the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death,

and on those in the grave bestowing life.

The doors are opened and the faithful re-enter. The church is brightly lit and adorned with flowers. It is the heavenly bride and the symbol of the empty tomb. The celebrants change to white vestments, the bright robes of the resurrection. The Easter icon stands in the center of the church, where the grave just was. It shows Christ destroying the gates of hell and freeing Adam and Eve from the captivity of death. There constant proclamation of the celebrant: Christ is risen! The faithful continually respond: Indeed he is risen! and censing of the icons and the people.

I'm sure I can't do the service justice, but trust me, it is really awesome to be a part of.  And I'm not going to lie, a big part of my excitement about tonight also involves what is about to be packed into my Easter basket... it's not the Easter basket most of you are envisioning - green grass, Easter eggs, candy, etc.  Instead, we have... beef jerky (mmm!!!!), sandwiches - peppered turkey and Swiss on Hawaiian rolls, wine, smoked salmon, several kinds of cheese & crackers, and chocolate chip cookies... I can't wait!  :D  And I've already planned out dinner for Sunday night... fried chicken!  HA!  I'm sure I'm going to give myself a stomach ache...

And finally - the icing on the cake for our epic weekend: I got an email that the new litter of Russian Blue kitties is here!!!  It will probably be close to three months before our little kitty will be ready to be picked up (I think they keep them for 12 or 13 weeks), but I am already so excited!!!   YAY!!!

I had a really stressful and exhausting week, so having great things piled upon great things was such a blessing this weekend!  Epic weekend, for the win!!

Just "Jen," and other news.

Well, it's official - Tim and I are going to be Chrismated on Holy Saturday (the day before Easter)!  We are very excited - well, I'm excited and also pretty nervous... it's a whole big ceremony.  You know, affirming that you will follow Christ, then renouncing Satan and spitting on him... the usual.  :)  The spitting is more metaphorical I think, but still audible if I'm not mistaken!  As for my Christian name, I've decided to take St. Genevieve of Paris as my patron name saint.  I figure it could be shortened to "Jen," which is what my immediate family usually calls me, so I think it honors the name that I've already been given.

The condo is still in limbo.  The latest news is that the exception the bank was applying for was denied, so now they are seeking a waiver.  In Tim's words, "what's the difference between an exception and a waiver?  $200 apparently."  Yep, they want an additional $200 to try to get a waiver... I say try, because they have been unsuccessful and unimpressive at every step of the way (especially our loan officer), and I have little faith in their ability to get this thing done at this point.  We do still have a couple of options if the "waiver" (sounds like something they made up at this point) doesn't work out, so it's not over yet.  In fact, Tim is very optimistic about it and keeps saying "we will get this condo; don't worry."  So even though I am worried... I'm trying to be optimistic like him.

Spring break is officially over... it's 8:00 and I'm swearing to myself to be in bed by 9:30.  Tim and I are attempting (just another round of many attempts we've made, but again - trying to be optimistic here!) to get up early and have breakfast together this week.  Wish us luck! 

And as for what seems like the big elephant in the room as far as this blog post goes (to me anyway), tomorrow will be our first day back since our student died.  Her funeral is on Tuesday, and I'm going to see if I can go, but it's during the school day, so I don't know if I'll be able to.  My heart is just still so heavy - I've been in a funk all of spring break and just can't seem to snap out of it.  I think I'm just still shocked that she's gone, and I'm so sad for her family.  And I had her last year, not this year - so I can't even imagine what her family, friends, and current teachers will be going through tomorrow. 

We're also finding out on Friday who will not be with us next year due to budget cuts, so there will just be quite a bit of sadness at our school this week. 

And on that note, I think I'll go on and head to bed earlier than planned... drink some hot tea, read a good book, and cuddle up with my sweet husband, and get myself mentally prepared for tomorrow.

Goodnight friends.

Blessed are they that mourn, for they will be comforted.

I found out today that a dear, sweet former student of mine passed away today after suffering injuries from a skiing accident yesterday.  She was so beautiful, kind, driven, and full of life - I am just in shock that she is not with us anymore, that when we go back to school next Monday, it will be without her.  It's so devastating that such a life could be cut short so abruptly, and at such a young age.  Please pray for peace and comfort for her family; I can't even imagine what they must be going through. 

I am confident that she is in heaven and in a "better place" as everyone says, but it doesn't take away the sadness or the questions of "why?"  I know there is an answer to that question, but stuck here in our earthly world, the answer never seems to satisfy.

Welcome to the Catechumenate!

Well, I think a blog post is most definitely in order - today, Tim and I became official catechumens of the Holy Orthodox Christian Church!  Basically what that means, is that we are now officially on the road to becoming part of the Church.  We have taken that first big step, and now the Church will be praying for us by name (in the middle of the Liturgy!) until we are actually received into the Church - possibly on Pascha (Easter).

I know that my blog audience (and honestly, I don't know who that is outside of Andrea and Rhiannon - my most "vocal" readers!) is largely, if not entirely, unfamiliar with the Orthodox Church and maybe even mine and Tim's involvement in it... so let me explain.

Actually, let me first explain why I'm just now really blogging about it (I mentioned it awhile back, but nothing much).  I guess I'm afraid that people will think that we're weird, or that we are joining some strange church - turning my back on Protestantism.  In fact, I guess I am turning my back on Protestantism (not that I think my upbringing was wrong or bad in any way - maybe incomplete, but definitely still the Truth), and even I am pretty surprised by that I suppose.  However, the "weird" or "strange" part is entirely incorrect, though that would have been my reaction a year or two ago.

I have (slowly!) come to love the Orthodox faith - it is so rich and full, and I love that it unifies the body and the spirit (as someone put it today) by involving both in worship.  Literally bowing down to the Lord (instead of just singing about bowing down - which I have definitely done), prostrating - where you are actually face down on the ground before God (which, by the way, we don't do all the time... but it is the Lenten season!) ...looking around at the beautiful murals of the life of Christ all around the cathedral (it is literally the most beautiful church I have ever seen), smelling the incense to represent prayers rising up to God, hearing God's Word sung by the choir - as the Liturgy is rich with tons of Scripture and the whole thing is sung! All of the senses and the physical body are involved in worship, not just the spirit - which makes complete sense, seeing as God made us as both spiritual and physical beings.

Even as I read my descriptions above, I'm thinking to myself, "wow - if I were reading this two years ago, I would be completely weirded out if ______ (insert close friend or family member) were converting to Orthodoxy."  I wish I could completely do it justice, but I know that I cannot with my limited knowledge and expertise.  Suffice it to say, however, that I have finally realized that standing through a two hour church service without pews is not "weird" - it is standing in the presence of the Almighty, which seems quite appropriate actually.  Kneeling down before God in the middle of church with a church full of people doing the same thing is not "awkward" - it is beautiful and shows a reverence for God that I feel was always missing for me.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to defend our decision - maybe not even defend, but at least give an explanation.  It's probably because it is so different from how we were both raised, and it's not a common religion in either area where we grew up.  I think I'm afraid that friends and family will have a misconception about what the Orthodox Christian Church is... and that they will "worry" about us.  I guess I'm explaining things so that whoever is reading from this point on (because I'm sure it will come up again!) realizes that we are still Christians, we still believe in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - only now, we feel that we have finally found our spiritual home... which I think we've both been searching for our entire lives.
 

St. Seraphim Orthodox Cathedral